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MAKE SPACE
For Self Love + Informed Decision
Before we go much further into this process there is one thing i need you to know. This journey is yours. You are NOT ALONE in it at all however, from now onward you must see your own decisions, take credit for them. Only you can decide whether you experience healing or not. What is done has surely been done
The damage has been done, but the HEALING IS YOURS. Oh and its good. So, so, so good.
Is it easy? No. Is it painless? Hell no. Will you want to quit? Every day.
But feeling and wanting are just that. You hsbe a choice and girlfriend believe me i feel your pain. Nothing is easy and healing can be so conveluded but you WILL emerge.
No matter your past.
No matter your story.
No mstter your mistakes and missteps.
You are so beautifully and purposely created. I love, and feel very honored, that you are choosing to step out of your pain and launch yourself into a new thriving life
How to Love Yourself
Stop All Criticism
Support Yourself
Reach out to friends and family and allow them to help you. When you need help and ask for it, you're being strong.
Be Loving to Your Negatives
Acknowledge that you created them to fill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs.Lovingly release the old negative patterns.
Take Care of Your Body
Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kinds of exercise to you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in!
Love Yourself—Do it Now!
Don’t wait until you get well or lose the weight, or getthe new job or the new relationship.Begin now and do the best you can!
I Will Emerge
I will emerge from the shadows and enjoy the light when:
Ifeelgood about myself and my ability to function as an adult.
Iamableto acceptand deal with what is real,ratherthanhanging onto what might have been or what was.
Iacceptmyrighttoautonomy(self direction). Iwillnolongerallow anyoneto treatmeinanabusive manner.
I will put as much time and efforti nto having a healthy relationship with myself as I will put into having a healthy relationship with another
The Healing Process
On an emotional level, healing is quite complex and different for every person. Mentally, healing required taking full responsibility for oneself, commitment to oneself, commitment to happiness even if it is a not an every day reality, releasing unhealthy habits habits, removing people, behaviors jobs, attitudes, or emotion that block healing. If also involves forgiveness, discipline, and the allowance of surrender. Healing is a mystical, undefinable part of the human experience and is different for every one.
Reconnection
While helplessness and isolation are the main experiences of the trauma of domestic violence, empowerment and reconnection are the main experiences of recovery.
During the recovery phase, we begin to understand the effects of being victimized and are closer to being ready to take concrete steps to regain control of life and protect ourselves against future danger.
Positive social support can make all the difference in a survivor’s healing process. This is why it is important to surround yourself with those who understand your experience
While helplessness and isolation are the main experiences of the trauma of domestic violence, empowerment and reconnection are the main experiences of recovery.
During the recovery phase, we begin to understand the effects of being victimized and are closer to being ready to take concrete steps to regain control of life and protect ourselves against future danger.
Positive social support can make all the difference in a survivor’s healing process. This is why it is important to surround yourself with those who understand your experience
How to Love Yourself
Stop All Criticism
Simply refuse to criticize yourself. Everybody changes,but criticism never changes anything. When you are criticizing yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.Be gentle and kind and patient Go easy on yourself as you learn new ways of thinking.Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.
Be Kind To Your Mind
Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for your thoughts. Instead, gently change the thoughts. Praise yourself Criticism breaks down the inner spirit.Praise builds up.Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.
Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for your thoughts. Instead, gently change the thoughts. Praise yourself Criticism breaks down the inner spirit.Praise builds up.Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.
Support Yourself
Reach out to friends and family and allow them to help you. When you need help and ask for it, you're being strong.
Be Loving to Your Negatives
Acknowledge that you created them to fill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs.Lovingly release the old negative patterns.
Take Care of Your Body
Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kinds of exercise to you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in!
Love Yourself—Do it Now!
Don’t wait until you get well or lose the weight, or getthe new job or the new relationship.Begin now and do the best you can!
I Will Emerge
I will emerge from the shadows and enjoy the light when:
I Refuse to take responsibility for my partner’s abusive behavior.
I Will Stop blaming myself for the violence and abuse in my relationship.
I understand that in order to take good care of my children,
I must first take good care of myself.
I Recognize that my feelings and ideas are genuine and deserving of consideration.
I can allow myself to make mistakes and know that I do not have to be perfect.
Ifeelgood about myself and my ability to function as an adult.
Iamableto acceptand deal with what is real,ratherthanhanging onto what might have been or what was.
Iacceptmyrighttoautonomy(self direction). Iwillnolongerallow anyoneto treatmeinanabusive manner.
I will put as much time and efforti nto having a healthy relationship with myself as I will put into having a healthy relationship with another
Today we are creating a time capsule. I want you to get a pen or pencil (yes we are going old school) and write yourself a letter. Write down your current feelings. What bothers you or causes you grief? What is the most challenging part of your day or where you are in your recovery process? What are you just totally over feeling or doing? What do you need to let go of? What are your goals or what do you hope to learn or discard in the next 8 weeks? Write it, write it, write it! Then put it away. We will come back to this soon!