Action Resources

National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or  1-800-787-3224 (TTY).

 Break The Silence 
Click to Empower 

Domestic Shelters

National Coalition


LITERATURE, EDUCATION & TRAINING

 Joyful Heart- 

 FAQ'S ANSWERED

 Am I experiencing abuse?
What are the most obvious signs of abuse?
Why is belittling a big do?

What is financial abuse?

 Someone I know Is experiencing abuse
How to call a hotline
Is my loved one in danger after leaving?
Help a survivor leave their abusive environment safely
How, as a survivors new partner, can I support them in their healing journey?

Am I abusive?
How do I stop being an abusive partner?
Is there support for batterers?
How do I change my behavior?
How did I become this way?
Is there support for a batterers family and loved ones?

 Is there support for survivor loved ones and support community


Resource Downloads from the domestic violence hotline 








Download Materials

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The materials on this page are available for you to download and print. The Hotline has a limited supply of printed materials specific to digital abuse, which can be requested by contacting us at hotline.requests@ndvh.org.

Awareness Brochures

Personal Safety Plan – English
Personal Safety Plan – Spanish

Power and Control Wheels

These wheels have either been developed by or adapted from the power and control wheel and the equality wheel. For further information or copyright requests, please contact:
      Domestic Abuse Intervention Project
202 East Superior Street, Duluth, MN, 55802218-722-2781
Power & Control Wheel – Spanish

Additional Materials

Folding Palm Card – English
Folding Palm Card – Spanish
Awareness Stickers – (formatted for Avery 22823 sticker sheet
Frequently Asked Questions about Domestic Violence

 1. What is domestic violence?

  • Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive, controlling behavior that can include physical abuse, emotional or psychological abuse, sexual abuse or financial abuse (using money and financial tools to exert control).
  • Domestic violence is a pervasive, life-threatening crime that affects millions of individuals across the United States regardless of age, economic status, race, religion or education.
  • High-profile cases of domestic violence will attract headlines, but thousands of people experience domestic abuse every day.  They come from all walks of life.
    • In a 24-hour survey, NNEDV found that U.S. domestic violence programs served nearly 65,321 victims and answered more than 23,045 crisis hotline calls in one day alone. 
  • Batterers make it very difficult for victims to escape relationships. Sadly, many survivors suffer from abuse for decades.
  • It’s important for survivors to know that the abuse is not their fault, and they are not alone. Help is available for those who suffer from domestic violence.

2. What are resources available for victims?

  • Survivors have many options, from obtaining a protection order to staying in a shelter, or exploring options through support group or anonymous calls to a local domestic violence shelter or hotline program.  There is hope for victims, and they are not alone.
  • There are thousands of local shelters across the United States that provide safety, counseling, legal help, and other resources for victims and their children.
  • Information and support is available for victims of abuse, their friends and family:
  • Before using online resources, know that your computer or phone may not be safe. Some abusers are misusing technology to stalk and track all of a partner’s activities.

3. Why do victims sometimes return to or stay with abusers?

  • A better question is, “Why does the abuser choose to abuse?”
  • The deck is stacked against the victim when confronted with leaving or not.
  • Abusers work very hard to keep victims in relationships.
  • There is a real fear of death or more abuse if they leave.
    • In fact, a victim’s risk of getting killed greatly increases when they are in the process of leaving or have just left. 
    • On average, three women die at the hands of a current or former intimate partner every day.
    • We, as a community, must do more to ensure the safety of victims when they leave.
  • Batterers are very good at making victims think that the abuse is their fault. Victims often believe that if they caused the violence, they can also stop it.
  • Victims stay because they are made to think they cannot survive on their own, financially or otherwise. Often abusers create a financial situation that makes leaving nearly impossible.
  • Survivors sometimes want the abuse to end, not the relationship.
  • A survivor may return to the abuser because that’s the person she the survivor fell in love with, and she believes his promises to change.  It’s not easy for anyone to let go of hopes and dreams.

4. Do abusers show any potential warning signs?

  • There is no way to spot an abuser in a crowd, but most abusers share some common characteristics.
  • Some of the subtle warning signs include:
    • They insist on moving too quickly into a relationship.
    • They can be very charming and may seem too good to be true.
    • They insist that you stop participating in leisure activities or spending time with family and friends.
    • They are extremely jealous or controlling.
    • They do not take responsibility for their actions and blame others for everything that goes wrong.
    • They criticize their partner’s appearance and make frequent put-downs.
    • Their words and actions don’t match.
  • Any one of these behaviors may not indicate abusive actions, but it’s important to know the red flags and take time to explore them.

5. Is it possible for abusers to change?

  • Yes, but they must make the choice to change.
  • It’s not easy for an abuser to stop abusive behavior, and it requires a serious decision to change.  Once an abuser has had all of the power in a relationship, it’s difficult to change to a healthy relationship with equal power and compromises.
  • Sometimes an abuser stops the physical violence, but continues to employ other forms of abuse – emotional, sexual, or financial.  Some abusers are able to exert complete control over a victim’s every action without using violence or only using subtle threats of violence. All types of abuse are devastating to victims.

6. Are men victims of domestic violence?

  • Yes, men can be victims of domestic abuse.
  • According to data collected from 2003 to 2012, 82 percent of domestic, dating, and sexual violence was committed against females, and 18 percent against males. [4] This is cooroborated by a 2012 study which states that about 4 in 5 victims of domestic, dating, and sexual violence between 1994 and 2010 were female. 
  • Men living with male partners are more likely to report domestic, dating, or sexual violence than men living with female partners. 15.4 percent of same-sex cohabiting men reported experience sexual/physical violence or stalking, compared to 10.8 percent of men with a female partner. 
  • Pervasive stereotypes that men are always the abuser and women are always the victim discriminates against male survivors and discourages them from coming forward with their stories. 
  • Male survivors of domestic violence are less likely to seek help or report abuse. Many are unaware of services for male survivors, and there is a common misconception that domestic violence programs only serve women. 
  • When we talk about domestic violence, we’re not talking about men versus women or women versus men. We’re talking about violence versus peace. We’re talking about control versus respect.
  • Domestic violence affects us all, and all of us – women, children and men – must be part of the solution.

7. How does the economy affect domestic violence?

  • A sour economy does not cause domestic violence but can make it worse. It’s like throwing gasoline on a fire.
  • The severity and frequency of abuse can increase when factors associated with a bad economy are present.
    • Job loss, housing foreclosures, debt, and other factors contribute to higher stress levels at home, which can lead to increased violence.
  • As the violence gets worse, a weak economy limits options for survivors to seek safety or escape.
  • Domestic violence programs need more staff and funding to keep up with the demand for their services.
  • Victims may have a more difficult time finding a job to become financially independent of abusers.

8. What can I do to help?

  • Everyone can speak out against domestic violence. The problem will continue until society stands up with one resounding voice and says, “no more!”
  • Members of the public can donate to local, statewide or national anti-domestic violence programs or victim assistance programs.
  • We can teach our children about what healthy relationships look like by example and by talking about it.
  • You can call on your public officials to support life-saving domestic violence services and hold perpetrators accountable.








Tips for Intervening If You Witness Domestic Violence

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More than 12 million people in the U.S.are affected by domestic violence each year. While domestic violence typically happens behind closed doors, in some cases it does happen in a public space or around friends or family members, meaning that other people may witness or be aware of the abuse. When we overhear or see something that doesn’t feel right, it can be difficult to know how to react. So, here are some tips and suggestions for what you might do to intervene and interrupt that violence.

If you witness abuse in public, it’s important to take into account your own safety as well as the survivor’s. There is safety in numbers, so gathering a group of people to stand nearby and either verbally or physically intervene is one option. Contacting the authorities is another option. You might even record the incident with your phone to pass to law enforcement if the survivor chooses to press charges(keep in mind, however, that some survivors choose not to take legal action).
If you’re hearing suspicious noises from your neighbors, one option is to speak with the survivor in person the next day. You might greet them with a question like, ”Hey, I heard some stuff last night. Are you okay?” Make sure to approach them in a safe, private space, listen to them carefully and believe what they have to say. Never blame them or ask what they did to “provoke” their partner. Let them know the abuse isn’t their fault, and that they deserve support. You might give them The Hotline’s contact information or direct them to a local crisis line. If you are ever concerned for the survivor’s immediate safety (or your own), you do have the right to contact the police. If the survivor decides to press charges against the abusive partner, your statement can be one way to help them document what they’ve experienced.
At The Hotline, we often hear from family members who want to physically remove the survivor from the abusive partner because they won’t leave themselves. We strongly discourage doing this because that action, like the abuse, encroaches on the survivor’s autonomy. It’s understandable to want to step in and take care of someone you love, but it is important to remember that they are the only person who can decide what is right for them; this is a choice they must make on their own. Abuse is so difficult to witness, but you can’t “save” them or “fix” the situation. The hardest thing to realize is that even with your help, some people won’t ever leave the relationship, and they do have the right to make that choice. You also have the right to express your concern, offer support, ask them to talk about a safety plan with you, and refer them to those who can help.
But, with all of that being said, it’s still important to have hope. On average, it takes domestic violence survivors seven times to leave the relationship for good, so if it’s physically and emotionally safe for you, try to continue offering support in any way you can. Believing and supporting them can be a major factor in helping them stay safe or helping them find empowerment to leave when they’re ready.
Is someone you know experiencing relationship abuse? We’re here to help! Call 1-800-799-7233 (24/7) or chat here on our website between 7 a.m. and 2 a.m. Central time