Web Community & Forums
Domestic Violence Forums And Chats
If you’re looking to connect with people through chat rooms and message boards that are focused on domestic violence and sexual assault, this list of online resources will help. If you join an online conversation, please keep in mind that you should not use your real name or contact information, and only use a safe email address if one is required. You never know who else may see your posts. Also be sure to practice Safe Surfing, so that your online activity stays confidential.
AfterSilence.org
After Silence aims to help victims become survivors and to communicate in the recovery of domestic and sexual violence. It offers an active message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse, incest and molestation survivors. There are over 31,000 members and about 1,000,000 posts, including recent posts and many useful posts from days and months past.
The Americans Overseas Domestic Violence Crisis Center
If you’re an American overseas, your situation is different than 99% of your fellow countryman, and this site will be a wonderful resource for you. Among such services as case management, danger-to-safety relocation, legal consultations for mothers seeking divorce and custody, payment of initial legal retainers, housing assistance and funds to help with emergency needs such as issuing American passports, there is also 24 hour response to emails, as well as international phone options.
DomesticShelters.org Facebook Page
One of the most active places where domestic violence victims and survivors converse is on this website's Facebook page. There is daily conversation, people sharing opinions, past experiences and unvarnished stories, and occasional advice from professionals that have joined in on a topic, all within the context of an archive of articles on a wide range of domestic violence topics.
Experience Project
This unique site works to connect people with similar interests, needs and experience on a massive variety of topics, one of which is domestic violence. You may not run into professionals who can guide you, but sometimes finding people who have had similar experiences is just as helpful.
Fort Refuge
A clever, grassroots site run by survivors for fellow survivors as a safe place to come together and discuss their struggles and victories in healing from various types of abuse. Though the forum and chat do not boast the same numbers as some of the larger organizations, they are one of the more active conversation places on the Internet currently. Also adds new content to its site regularly.
Love is Respect - National Teen Dating Helpline
As it suggests, this resource focuses on teen relationships and can be accessed by phone, text or live chat. Run by The National Domestic Violence Hotline, it offers real-time, one-on-one support from trained peer advocates that offer support, information and advocacy to those involved in dating abuse relationships as well as concerned parents, teachers, clergy, law enforcement, and service providers.
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Operates confidential, non-public, one-on-one chats with advocates every day from 7:00 AM to 2:00 AM Central Time. Also provides a hotline 365/24/7 at 1-800-799-7233 in English and Spanish.
OnYourMind.net
A safe and anonymous place for teens to get information and support from other teens with a chat room, covering topics such as relationships, school, depression, stress, suicide, parents, cutting, identity and health. Chat is available M-Th 4:30 PM to 9:30 PM Pacific Time (except during the summer when the chat room is closed). Hotline available during off hours.
Pandora's Aquarium
An online forum with around 2,000,000 posts and over 70,000 members run by Pandora’s Project, which provides information, support, and resources to rape and sexual abuse survivors and their friends and family. Includes healing retreat weekends, an articles database and guest speaker chats.
YesICAN
Offers live chats on a schedule and a forum for individuals who wish to discuss issues around surviving child abuse, parenting and domestic violence. YesICAN chats are facilitated by trained facilitators and cover various subjects, including teen survivors, male survivors, female survivors, physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, incest survivors, significant others, and parenting
Survivor stories
Gabbe's Story
What is your personal experience with gender-based violence (this may include domestic violence, rape, sexual assault, female genital mutilation, etc)?
When I was 22 years old I met my abuser. 4 months into our relationship he started serving a year sentence for a crime he committed against a previous girlfriend. I stood by faithfully. He was released Jan 2013. We got pregnant shortly after he was released. On March 9, 2013 I had a missed miscarriage, as a result of one of our many heated arguments. On May 7th, my abuser’s birthday I got my first restraining order and kept it for 2 weeks. It was bow June things were going smoothly between us, and he was sober. July 29, 2013 it all changed. He started accusing me of cheating on him. He started off by yelling at me, belittling me, and pulling my hair. But his violence progressed rapidly. During my week of hell he forcibly injected me with heroin against my will, beat me with a belt across my rearend, hit me across the face, forced me to perform oral sex on his dog, raped me. On July 5, 2013 I left to save myself. I left because I valued myself and knew I deserved better.
Gabbe’s Story has been featured on multiple national platforms to include the Huffington Post, ESPN, Break The Silence, and in the internationally acclaimed documentary, The Return of Social Change.
What advice would you give other survivors who have experienced similar situations as you?
Abuser’s thrive on power and control and so often we start to believe their word over anyone else’s. I want any victim out there to know that there is a way out of the hell on earth they are experiencing. There are so many people willing to help you. Domestic violence is not your fault. You did nothing to deserve the abuse. Your abuser is at fault completely. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. And you never will be again. That is one of the most important things to remember. I’ve met some of the strongest women in my life, and they are survivors. They are the ones in my life that understand me in way others could never get. My fellow survivors are my family.
Why do you feel it is important to empower women?
I feel it’s important to empower other women because you never know what they could be battling behind closed doors. 1 in 4 women will become victims of domestic violence. I was that 1 in 4 and never imagined it could be me, but it was. If I can share my story and show others I got out of my abusive relationship than they can see they are able to as well. Falling victim to a man who claims to love them is terrifying, but there is life after abuse. I want other women to achieve that freedom.
Roseanne's Story
I was stuck in a cycle of domestic violence. 2 very bad marriages, in which my husbands threatened to kill me infront of my 3 youngest children, eventually alienated me from them when they became older, abused my pets, kept me in a spot where I was afraid to come out of my room every morning. He destroyed my belongings. He made me feel helpless, he ran away leaving me with his and my kids every time he got upset. This cycle just kept continuing until I found help through a DV counselor and she explained that I really didn’t love him, and I was actually able to support myself and leave, which I eventually did.
What advice would you give other survivors who have experienced similar situations as you?
YOU CAN LEAVE! If I could do it, anyone can. I had NO job experience. 56 years old, stay at home mom my entire life. None of my family would take me in because they feared him. I got help, learned I had the power to survive without him, and got income thru babysitting/elderly care, and I eventually got out.
Why do you feel it is important to empower women?
Abusers take all your power away and make you feel helpless. When you learn that you can actually survive without them, its a wonderful feeling of freedom and strength that everyone deserves to have.. not just the abuser, who has always held all the power. this is also when it becomes rough because when the abuser begins to realize that you are gaining independence, they get mad because they need the feeling of being in control of your every move, and they worry about losing you/that power.. but that cannot stop you! you have to keep going until youre completely gone and out of your situation, no matter how hard it might seem.. whereever you need to go, its always going to be better than where youve been.
Sarah's Story
I am a survivor of domestic violence. I was in a 4 year relationship with my batterer. When I met him, I had no idea that he was a serial abuser. He showered me with attention and provided the image of “everything that I had always wanted.” I spent four years quickly losing myself in the continuous cycle of abuse. I didn’t know what domestic violence was. The first few incidents of physical violence confused me because my image of him was not of the monster that he displayed during those times. I justified the abuse, I blamed myself. I even sought marriage counseling. He was a master of manipulation and therapists didn’t recognize his abuse. It wasn’t until he tried to use the legal system against me, with false allegations, that I realized he was trying to destroy me. When I left, it was as if the blinders finally came off and I was able to see all of the damage that he caused myself and my children. I saw him for who he was, a monster with an extensive history of abuse.
What advice would you give other survivors who have experienced similar situations as you?
No matter what anyone tries to tell you, it’s not your fault. There is nothing that you did that caused what you experienced. You didn’t deserve it. Leaving isn’t always an easy process. You will encounter people who will question your choices or won’t believe you. Just continue to remind yourself that you are stronger than whatever obstacles you are facing . There is a network of survivors who have overcome the struggles that you are facing. Keep moving forward and never give up hope!
Why do you feel it is important to empower women?
I feel it is important to empower other woman because together we are stronger. Behavior that has become acceptable in society to divide us, damages us all as woman. We have been driven to compete and hate on one another. We often distrust each other. Our culture often justifies abuse and mistreatment towards woman. If we don’t empower other woman, then we are all weakened. We lose our voice. I don’t want us to lose our voice. We need to stand together and empower each other.
Mimis Story:
What is your personal experience with gender-based violence (this may include domestic violence, rape, sexual assault, female genital mutilation, etc)?
4 years ago I was attacked by the person who told me he loved me. After a heated argument, he knocked me out unconscious, started a crossfire in our bedroom with police , & then took me hostage at gun point. I suffered some broken bones, nose, cracked jaw, & blew out my eye socket. A few months before this attack, the physiological, verbal & emotional abuse slowly increased, he managed to use fear, guilt, social isolation & intimidation to gain and maintain control over me. This is my personal experience with domestic violence & I hope that by sharing a bit about my story it can help other women find their voice like I currently am.What advice would you give other survivors who have experienced similar situations as you?
What advice would you give other survivors who have experienced similar situations as you?
My advice would be, although it may be difficult, to focus on YOURself. Finding your voice, your worth & realizing how strong/resilient you are. I cant tell other women how to feel or act because healing is different for everyone, but whatever that journey looks like for you, embrace it and if at one point in your journey you realize you need to reach out to others, I advise to seek out to other women survivors. Sharing my story and talking to other women has impacted me in a positive way. Learning to LOVE myself, This was be the most important thing I had to do. I’ve learned that how someone treats Me, is most often a reflection of them, not Me.
Why do you feel it is important to empower women?
It is very important to empower women because this is how we can help one another. Supporting & Empowering women is how we will be able to join force in spreading the word in speaking up and Breaking the Silence!!!!